Sunday, January 16, 2005

Peeing in Morse Code...Not My Cup of Tee

About 10 years ago, when I was in my late 40s, I gradually realized that urination was taking longer than usual. I didn't think much about it until one late-night trip to the bathroom when almost nothing would come out. At that moment it dawned on me that something was happening to my body, something that I didn't like.

My family physician informed me that I had BPH, or benign prostatis hyperplasia. At least he assumed it was benign. He explained that a doctor's rectal exam could check only two of the three lobes of the prostate for irregularities that would indicate cancer. He guessed that I could continue about 7 years before needing something done. Something that I really didn't want to have done!

Well, it's been about 10 years, and I haven't yet had a TURP or other prostate-reduction procedure. But the disease is progressing, so I know it will have to happen one of these days...or nights.

One of the odd symptoms of BPH is that your urination pattern becomes changed. The normal pattern is:
  • approach the toilet
  • big blast of urine
  • couple of quick squirts
  • zip up and you're done.

For guys with BPH, the pattern becomes:
  • approach the toilet
  • wait
  • small flow of urine for a long time
  • think your're finished, so a quick squirt
  • realize you're not finished, pee some more
  • think you're finished, so a quick squirt,
  • repeat a few times
  • realize that somebody is waiting, so zip up,
  • repeat in 30 minutes to an hour.

This sounds a bit like Morse Code, which is why this blog is named "Pee in Morse Code."

Any other guys out there who care to chime in?